Sunday 13 October 2013

Weekend Writing Warriors #38


Hi everyone, welcome to another 8 sentences. This week as the dark nights are approaching, I thought  I would share a spooky story from 'Enchanted' a Yellow Silk Dreams anthology. My story is called 'Patrick's Pendant' and my 8 are the opening lines:

                                          My Eight:

Katie ran from the noise of the party across the empty road and towards a spinney behind a set of garages. She blinked away the many tears that threatened to thwart her view of the little path that led to three old swings and a rusty seesaw.
Nervously she glanced around in the darkness, she had been sure that someone would have been concerned enough to follow her.
Slumping down on the damp plastic seat on one of the swings she rocked back and forth, keeping both feet on the ground.
Her friends had been right, it was such a cliché but even her mother had told her so.
As her breathing calmed Katie pulled her cardigan closer around her. The swings on either side were swaying in the cool night breeze and the trees were rustling.
It was late, very late, possibly 2am and the temperature had dropped considerably.

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22 comments:

  1. That could be quite spooky -- depending on what came next. Gr8 snippet.

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  2. Lovely imagery making a very ominous eight!

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  3. Scary eight. I pictured my daughter as if she were the girl in your eight. What a well written scene.

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  4. Nice imagery. I'm wondering what got her so upset.

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  5. You create a really vivid sense of atmosphere here; it really made me want to read more.

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  6. Nervous and crying, running around at 2am. What has gotten her so upset? She needs a handsome hero to come to her rescue. Please tell us more...

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  7. Fantastic imagery. And I do want to know what has her so upset.

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  8. I wish I knew what had upset her so! Poor girl. Great 8.

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  9. Great job creating a spooky setting! Can't wait to read what happens next.

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  10. I expected a dark someone (something?) to pop out behind her at any moment. Great job setting the mood!

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  11. I love this beginning it's so packed with emotion! great! I hope you'll post more of this!

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  12. Great way to capture my interest from the beginning! Well done, Gemma.

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  13. Oh poor thing. Makes me suspect a boy broke her heart. Also makes me wonder why no one did follow her out of concern...what's gonna happen next?!?

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  14. Poor Katie. Fabulous opening, Gemma. You pulled me right in and let me wanting more.

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  15. Vivid description, makes me all kinds of curious why she's out there, what happened...excellent excerpt! Can't wait to read more of the story.

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  16. wow. makes me want to warn her to be careful. dark night, abandoned playground equal trouble coming. nice use of the 8

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  17. Hmm, either her friends didn't notice her leaving, or they're not really her friends. Hope nobody bad finds her while she's waiting to calm down.

    You have me really intrigued about what made her flee the party--nice snippet!

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  18. A very creepy atmosphere... I'm waiting for something magic or horrible (or both!) to happen! Awesome excerpt :)

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  19. Great hook. I want to know what happened to send her out there!

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  20. Oh that is so sad. I feel bad for her. Good writing for you making me feel that. Now I'm wondering if the right person or wrong person will come?
    History Sleuth's Milk Carton Murders

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  21. Actually, nobody is ever concerned enough to follow. It seems like a dangerous place to be in the middle of the night.

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  22. Spooky. Great hook to end it with though. I love the set up. Nice snippet.

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