Some of you will know that I am in the process of writing a new factual book based on real sexual experiences gathered over the last 18 months (not all mine I hasten to add!) The book is filled with sexual techniques and tips to improve relationships, but also very honest opinions from both sexes, which separate the truth from the myths. Many of my author friends have shared opinions and (the brave ones) have shared scenarios. if anyone reading this would like to add their anecdotes (for a small mention in the credits) please feel free! It is fascinating to read how people really feel about expectations and their own personal libido's. Many of us are having fun of course, but what I've found (and is not really surprising) is that we are all slightly uncomfortable about talking frankly to each other. You know what it's like, at the beginning of a relationship we enjoy discovering what works for each other, we plan to be always honest and yes, we show our partners through responses and discussion exactly what turns us on. However, after a few months we stop, not all of us of course, but many of us - too many of us. We think that our partners should know by now what we like, goodness knows we've showed them often enough, and we told them we don't really like it when they do that, in fact it bloody hurts! So why oh why do they still keep...! You get the picture.
Many of us do get it right, some of us are lucky enough to have partners who care enough, and have the self confidence to listen, learn and communicate their desires to us. Then there are those who share in waves, sometimes it's great, sometimes - not so much.
One thing we can all be sure of is that the state of our mind, coupled with our physical health, can make all the difference.
In my research I have studied male and female orgasms. I have read medical literature on the subject and visited many websites. One of my favourites is Askmen, I love this website! Written by men, for men, it's a must for those wanting to get inside the average male head. And for those men who are genuine about improving (and celebrating) themselves - it's a brilliant find.
I have also asked both women and men to describe their orgasm's. Not an easy task! Obviously they're not always identical but even so...
I found a wonderful description of the male orgasm from 'Dave' on yahoo, here is a small part of his transcript:
is an incredible explosion of pleasure in my genitals. As the stimulation,
pleasure, and tension build throughout my masturbation session or penis/vagina
friction during sex, I can actually feel the semen rising up from my balls and
I have this feeling of fullness, a sense of getting close. Then the point is
reached where the accumulated tension is so great I can't hold back any longer
and I reach what is called the "point of inevitability"...at this
point I know my ejaculation is going to happen, there is nothing I can do to
stop it, but there is a delay of a few seconds before the semen actually begins
to shoot out of my penis...'
The description goes on much longer and is incredible. If only I could describe my own as well as that! How about it ladies?