Sunday, 26 April 2015

Weekend Writng Warriors #111

 



Hi and welcome to this week's eight sentences. 
I'm continuing with the next eight from 'Dancing for the Boys' I have played with the punctuation a little so as not to spoil the flow, enjoy!:                                           
   MY EIGHT 
   

When James’ chauffeur dropped her back home, having made an arrangement for the following Thursday evening, Tanya was buzzing with excitement. She lay in her bed thinking of his deep blue eyes watching her body twist and turn before him, she imagined his delight as she stretched her legs wide apart almost the full length of the pole. Tanya made up her mind there and then that she would make James want her.
Thursday came; Tanya had chosen an outfit she knew he hadn’t seen, an electric blue unitard that fit like a second skin. The fabric glittered with sequins and was cut away at the sides to reveal Tanya’s toned stomach. A matching pair of thigh high boots finished the look. Tanya’s hair was sleek; the curls steamed away by Joey, her eyes were heavily made up but looked appealing. Black and blue stripes flattered her nails. She was ready
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Who doesn’t love to dance? Who doesn’t love to tease the men watching, willing them to notice and lust after your body? What would you do if you were given the chance to perform before a group of appreciative gentlemen for a large amount of money? The latest release from the pen of Gemma Parkes combines two stories of exotic dancing and what it means to two women when they truly perform.

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Video link:
http://youtu.be/rjXsx_ik9-4


                               


13 comments:

  1. She is ready! Very visual snippet, Gemma. :-) ! Good 8.

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  2. Great imagery! She's definitely determined.

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  3. I have a feeling she *thinks* she's ready but there are bound to be some unexpected twists here...excellent excerpt.

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  4. She has a plan and you've written it so well. Let's see how it turns out. This is an intriguing journey .

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  5. She's definitely ready! I'm sure James is going to very impressed. Great snippet. ;)

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  6. Excellent! Can really visualise it

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  7. Such great attention to detail--both for the character and for your description of her outfit. She is ready. But is he? :) Can't wait to find out!

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  8. I think she's in for a surprise.

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  9. I think Tanya's going to have fun tonight 8D Such a tantalizing snippet! I used to read ER when I read fanfiction. It's so much fun. Well, you know what I mean XD

    The only thing that sounded a bit off was this line, "Black and blue stripes flattered her nails." I think that is because this sentence is in passive voice meaning that the subject is at the end of the sentence. It's not necessarily wrong, but active voice sounds better in many cases.

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  10. She's ready and if James isn't after he sees her, than he's dead from the neck down. Maybe brain down. :D

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  11. A woman with a plan:). Fabulous snippet!

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  12. Watch out James, sound's like you're going to be had! Visual snippet, Gemma!

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