This is THE guide you need to read, whether you are a girl, a boy, or both! Written by the world renowned erotic writer Peter Birch, Samantha J Hall, with editing by erotic author Nicky Raven, this new quarterly seasonal adult guide is sure to enlighten, amaze and entertain you through the fresh spring months.
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Giving It Up For Lent
A Beginner’s Guide To Tease And Denial.
Lent is upon us and having used up the last reserves of fats and meats on Shrove Tuesday, good Christians are fasting and turning their backs on luxuries in the name of penitence. Self-denial during lent seems to have transcended the Christian faith and become a cultural period of moderation, inspiring people to give up vices which may be bad for them in excess, such as chocolate or alcohol. The voluntary denial of pleasure seems to be ingrained in human behaviour, people stick to bizarrely restrictive diets when trying to lose weight, when merely cutting down on calories and going for a jog in the morning would achieve more or less that same result. It is as if we feel the self-imposed, often fairly torturous (remember the cabbage soup diet anyone?) limitations will somehow make up for having over indulged in the first place and magically alter the laws of biology so that the excess weight will be cancelled out by the misery.
Perhaps in some cases people get a kick out of self-denial too, enjoying the victory of willpower over temptation, having the chance to feel good about themselves having given up sweeties for 40 days, and maybe a little justified when they pig out on Easter eggs as soon as lent is over. Delayed satisfaction can be a pleasure in itself, the first glass of wine after 40 days abstinence is always going to hold a higher value and therefore be perceived as more pleasurable than the glass of wine had with dinner every day for the rest of the year. People like to feel they have earned something, be it the Friday evening pint after a hard working week or the huge Sunday roast after a period of dieting, the pleasure is always going to be greater for the perception of it being a ‘reward’.
It comes as no surprise then that people have managed to erotize denial. At first it seems like a bizarre concept, to gain sexual pleasure from the denial or restriction of sexual pleasure. It looks like an entirely counterproductive exercise, however it is a surprisingly common fetish, enjoyed by women and men of all persuasions. Denial is such a popular sexual theme in fact that there is a whole range of toys and devices designed to help people keep their partner from touching where they have been told not to, many selling for upwards of £100. There are multiple websites devoted entirely to the discussion of sexual denial and ‘key-holding’- where someone keeps the key to another person’s locked chastity device to prevent them taking it off without permission and this ‘service’ is popular with clients of professional dominatrices as well as between lovers.
Erotic sexual control takes place in many ways. Some people like to play with ‘tease and denial’ or ‘tie and tease’ in which one partner is deliberately turned on, touched, stroked and tormented, sometimes while restrained, but denied the ultimate release until the ‘dominant’ partner decides orgasm has been delayed long enough. This is perhaps the easiest aspect of denial to understand, there is pleasure to be had in the torment, a bit like extended foreplay. The ‘Dominant’ partner pays a lot of attention to the ‘submissive’ partner, spending a lot of time arousing them, turning them on. If this foreplay goes on a little longer than is comfortable it just adds to the pleasure when it comes. Being kept on the edge of orgasm for a period of time can intensify the sensation of orgasm when it does happen. The waiting, and perhaps begging and pleading can make the coveted release that much sweeter.